


Insert Pick-Up Line Here

by halfsweet



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Pick-Up Lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 16:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5424173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfsweet/pseuds/halfsweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Recently, Pete has taken the habit of dropping some pick-up lines whenever they see each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insert Pick-Up Line Here

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I was on instagram, and there's this pic of a pick-up line. And it was just _so_ Pete that I had to write this. So here you go!

Patrick has known Pete for almost fifteen years now, and everyone expects him to know Pete the best. Whenever Pete pulls a stunt, everyone just looks at Patrick, and Patrick knows that's his cue to clean up after his boyfriend's mess. People would think that after fifteen years, after six studio albums and a hiatus, Patrick is still the best person to decipher Pete's weird behaviour.

Well, they're wrong.

Patrick has no idea what is going on inside Pete's head as they're doing their soundcheck that day. Pete slides next to him and starts to whisper in his ear.  _"Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?"_

From the corner of his eyes, he can see Pete grinning at him, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He rolls his eyes, but leans in to give a quick peck anyway.

"We agreed on no PDA!"

"Shut up, Trohman!"

Patrick shoves Pete away with his elbow and watches as the bassist skips over to Joe, possibly to annoy him next.

Sometimes, it's best to ignore Pete when he's being weird.

-

The next time it happens is when Patrick has just returned from Starbucks run with Joe. As he steps on the bus, he sees Pete sitting on the couch, a Santa hat on his head- which, seriously, it's still too early to get in Christmas mood, Patrick thinks. Before he can voice out his opinion, Pete turns to him with a blinding grin and pats his lap.

_"I know it's not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready."_

And Patrick is slowly getting confused by Pete's behaviour. Because, really, they're in a relationship already. There's no need for pick-up lines. So, picking the best option, also known as his go-to option when he doesn't have the energy to deal with his boyfriend, he ignores Pete and heads straight for the one-seated couch.

He doesn't even try to hide his grin at Pete's pouty face when Joe plops down on Pete's lap.

"Now, I know I've been a good boy this year, so here's what I want. First-"

-

"Come on, come on. Ask me what my name is!"

Patrick sighs as he directs his attention to Pete- his weird, man-child hybrid boyfriend. "I already know your name, Pete."

Andy, who is sitting next to him, raises his eyebrows in question at Pete. "Are you okay?"

"Ask me! Ask me! Come on!" Pete says eagerly, then moves to stand in front of them. Patrick was just having a nice, relaxing conversation with Andy before they were interrupted by Pete, and Patrick  _really_  wants to get whatever this is over with so he can continue his conversation with Andy. The second he opens his mouth, he knows he's going to regret it.

"What's your name?"

There's a shit-eating grin on Pete's face, and Patrick already regrets it.

_"My name is what you'll be screaming tonight."_

"Other than it being too long,  _gross_." Andy deadpans and throws a cushion in Pete's direction, the latter having already left the room, braying in loud laughter.

"Remind me again why you're dating him?"

Patrick groans and leans back into the couch, covering his face with another cushion.

-

They're having a day off that day, and Patrick has been meaning to spend the rest of the day with Pete, but the older man is nowhere to be found on the bus.

So, he sits in the lounge with Joe and Andy, watching them play video games. Patrick is never really the one to play video games, but he does enjoy watching his friends playing, although not as much as spending time with his  _currently missing-in-action boyfriend_.

It isn't until minutes later that Pete walks through the door and sits down next to him. Patrick is about to ask him where he had gone to, when he sees  _the_  grin on Pete's face.

_"With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren."_

There's silence on the bus after that, even Joe and Andy pause their game to gape at Pete.

"We don't need any mini-Pete running around here."

"Are you implying that Patrick's a woman?"

Patrick crosses his arms and narrows his eyes. "Are you saying that I'm  _stupid_?"

Pete's grin is immediately wiped off of his face, replaced with a panicked look, and Patrick can hear Joe and Andy making  _"ooh"_  sounds from behind him.

"W- Wait, 'Trick! I didn't-"

Patrick heaves himself from the couch and exits the bus, keeping a poker face on the entire time. Once he's outside, he lets out a small chuckle. The look on Pete's face is  _priceless_.

That'll teach him for the horrible pick-up lines. Maybe this time, Pete will stop with the lines.

-

Of course, everything is just wishful thinking. The universe seems to have everything out to get him. A few days after Pete's last pick-up line, he tries again when the four of them are in the kitchen.

Patrick leans into Pete's side when the bassist walks up next to him and wraps his arm around Patrick's waist. Patrick would have thought that that was it, until Pete starts to speak.

_"We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows."_

Okay, that's a pretty cute pick-up line, Patrick has to admit. Innocent, even. And Patrick even gets it. Pete's the hot chocolate, because he's hot and dark. And Patrick's the marshmallow, because he's white and soft. A cute pairing.

_"'Cause you're hot, and I want to be on top of you."_

Joe and Andy begin to explode in laughter, doubling over and gripping the table for balance. Patrick should have learned that nothing ever lasts when it comes to Pete a long time ago. As he tries to ignore Joe's and Andy's laughter, he grabs Pete's wrist and marches towards the direction of their bunks, away from their laughing friends.

Patrick turns around and frowns at Pete, who looks back at him with an innocent smile. The sight manages to calm Patrick from being too mad at his boyfriend. He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "What are you trying to do, Pete?"

"What do you mean?"

"The pick-up lines." Patrick presses his lips together in a thin line. "We're already in a relationship, Pete. So what are the pick-up lines _really_ for?"

Patrick's face softens when Pete gazes at him that leaves him breathless every time.

"I thought it would be fun, you know? Reliving the days when I tried to tell you that I like you."

"That's… actually pretty sweet." Patrick laughs softly and pulls Pete into a kiss. "I love you, Pete, but those lines have to stop. No more, okay?"

"You seem to like them, though." Pete mumbles, kissing down Patrick's neck and sucking on it. Patrick lets out a small moan and drags Pete into his bunk. "Guilty as charged."

Despite his weird acts, Pete actually has very good reasons for them. And Patrick may or may not be proud of his beloved man-child hybrid of a boyfriend. Childish as Pete may be, he's  _very_  skillful with his mouth and hands though.

"One more, I promise," Pete pleads as he pauses in his action of unbuttoning Patrick's shirt.

Patrick blinks up at him in confusion, too caught up in his haze of lust to register what Pete is saying. "What?"

"One more pick-up line, and I  _swear_  that will be the last one. No more."

Pete is giving him the all-too familiar puppy look that Patrick has never been able to say no to, even though he's seen it a million times before. He thumps his head back against the pillow and sighs exasperatedly. Really, the things he does for his boyfriend. Everyone thinks that he has Pete wrapped around his fingers, when it really is the other way around.

" _One_. And this will be the last one, or I swear to God this would be the last time we're having sex  _ever_." He rolls his eyes when Pete grins down at him, leaning forward to whisper in his ears.

_"Is this Monster Inc? 'Cause I hope you can control your screams."_

The satisfying sound of his fist against Pete's shoulder and the yelp of pain following after is just enough,  _barely enough_ , for Patrick to forgive Pete for the terrible line.

"You're down to zero. Now shut up and kiss me."

**Author's Note:**

> I have another work in the making, and hopefully I can get it finished in time :D *winkwinknudgenudge
> 
> Leave some comments!


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